Why do we compare ourselves to others?
When you learn about someone’s profile at work or on a social networking site, you may compare them to yourself.
“I’ve graduated from a better college than you…”- “I’m unmarried, but my partner is married…”
- “He makes more money than his peers…”
- “He has many followers…”
- “I’m being followed by a celebrity…”
Do you ever feel inferior when you compare yourself to someone else?
This is commonly referred to as an “inferiority complex.
Status and Performance
So what part of the complex do you feel?
I think most people compare it to their “status”.
- He’s working for a very large company.
- Graduated from a famous university.
- Age
- Married
- Rich (luxury car, luxury watch, etc.)
We can’t help but compare ourselves to the backgrounds and titles of others.
However, in the future society, such things will not determine your superiority.
It’s all about performance. We are living in an age where we are being evaluated based on our “performance,” whether we are doing our best at the moment.
Rather than a system of lifetime employment and seniority, the concept of meritocracy and abilityocracy is increasing.
- “Being” = the value of status
- “Do” = the value of performance
Flow Experience
Psychologist Csikszentmihalyi, on the subject of how to be happy, concluded that it is “important to perform oneself with a high degree of skill in a task of high difficulty” that makes people feel alive and self-assured.
Tasks with a high degree of difficulty can easily be imagined to fail, and you won’t feel like challenging them in the first place.
On the other hand, tasks that can be handled with your current skills can be done comfortably, and you don’t have to force yourself to try difficult tasks.
However, Csikszentmihalyi proposed the “flow state” as the state of being immersed in a task that you can or cannot do, using your skills to achieve success.
The response to being alive and the awareness that you are capable of being
The response to being alive and the awareness that you are capable of being alive are obtained by having a “flow experience”.
If you don’t feel that you are “doing” (performing) flow experiences on a daily basis, you will compare yourself to the “being” (status) you have achieved in the past.
summary
During the “flow experience,” the existence of others, and even your own existence, is forgotten.
The “flow experience” can be achieved by taking on tasks that are beyond your capabilities.
By focusing on your current actions (performance) instead of comparing yourself to others’ status, you will be able to eliminate unnecessary distractions and naturally feel happier.
The best moments are The best moments In the process of trying to achieve something worthwhile “The best moments come when you are working your body and mind to the limit in the process of achieving something worthwhile.
Mihai Csikszentmihalyi, “The Flow Experience: The Phenomenology of Joy.”
A word from the author
When we think about why we compare, we think it is because we are the “same kind”.
We compare ourselves with others, but we don’t compare ourselves with animals, do we?
If there are two loaves of bread in front of you, you will try to take the one that is a little bigger.
Then, if there is a loaf of bread and a bowl of rice, we will take the one we want to eat.
In the former case, we compare the bread with each other, but the latter is a little different.
This is a story that is difficult to control because we make comparisons on an unconscious level.
However, don’t you think that the same bread tastes better when it is freshly baked?
Freshly baked bread is the same as the bread that was in the oven until just now.
I would like to become such a person.
